In September I attended an
exploratory seminar in the
Netherlands with Mary Noble
about the xx and xy genders*.
Previously it had also been run
in England and the United States
and since then Mary has met men
and women interested to engage
in this futuristic research in
Germany, Denmark and Italy.
 |
| I don’t think we’ve even
begun to truly appreciate the greatness and
power of men and women, each in
their unique way. |
For Mary Noble, one of the co-founders of
Feminenza, the promotion of a new and
better understanding between the genders
has been a burning issue since she was
young. During the seminar she managed
to create an atmosphere in which everyone,
both men and women, could feel at ease,
to venture together into a research about
a mystery we all want to unravel. After
working together to get a better understanding
of what is the best of the Male/
Female, Man/Woman, Lady/Gentleman and
Tenant**, everyone found themselves in
spontaneous theatre work, which was very
captivating and described some of the
aspects that had been discovered about the
different lives. This was a very warm and
humorous happening, illustrating and clarifying
some of the ways the genders go on.
During the seminar singing and dancing was
also explored which is a wonderful way to
feel the different lives of both genders. It
was very special to be able to work together
with men and women, trying to understand
their own and each other's gender better.
The fact of that happening already was
an enormous success, apart from the discoveries we made on the way,
with the
help of the inspiring guidance of Mary.
This interview was gathered from a series
of telephone conversations with Mary in
between the various seminars, in response
to questions concerning her experiences and
perceptions gained during her recent travels.
I understand that you are currently
conducting exploratory seminars
with both men and women about
the best of both genders. What has
it been like to do that?
It
has been an amazing discovery about what some of the issues are
in both men and
women and what some of the problems are.
Also seeing it in different countries, you start
to realize that whilst there are similar issues,
there are also different ones depending on
which country the seminar is being held in.
So I find it is a process of discovery each time I do it and I realize
what a key issue gender
is, and that men and women are both very
concerned about it. There is such a cry for
understanding, and such a healing when the
subject can be approached fresh, without
judgement, without blame or recrimination,
from a simple foundation of mutual help and
respect.
It seems to me that the whole
world is waking up to the gender
issue, and more and more books
are appearing about the difference
between men and women, to
engender a greater understanding.
Why do you think that is?
I think it is part of the natural process of
evolution, where people don't accept the
way things were 20, 50, or even a hundred
years ago, and I think that the relationship
between the genders is a very key feature in
how society develops. We are at a point nowwhere one of the issues
that has to be in
the forefront is understanding the way that
men and women can work together for a
better future. In the 60s in the West, you
had the women's movement, you've had
huge changes in the last 50 years, and there
was a period in which people were trying to
say that there was no difference. I think that
what is happening now is that people are
accepting that fundamentally there is a
difference, but they don't want to go back
to the 'one is better and one is worse' view.
There has to be a whole new way of
looking at it, which is, what are these
differences about and what are they for?
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 |
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| Mary Noble discusses a small theatre presented by some men
in the Netherlands and she conducts a special dance in Denmark. |
Why do you think that it is
especially important in this time
to have a fresh look at the way
the two genders go on (both
individually and with each other)?
Something
is very seriously out of balance in the world today, in the relationships
between men and women. I've encountered
some of it first hand in my travels. In some
societies it turns up as extreme repression of
women, in others, as extreme exploitation
of or violence against women. Femaleinfanticide
is on the increase, caused by the fact
that in many parts of the world, the birth of
a daughter is seen as the greatest misfortune
that can befall a family. Sadly, the great
majority of people in the 21st century do
not have the perception of men and women
as two very high faces of how God turns up
here on the planet, both vital to the development
of the universe. Of course, the men
suffer greatly too, by what this ignorance
and suppression denies them in terms of
access to their own humanity and spiritual
development. It burns deeply in me that
there is such an enormous amount of unnecessary
pain in the world, caused by the
kind of fixed patterns with which the genders
are brought up and caused to look at
each other. Some of these are to do with
traditions that go back hundreds of years
and some of it is to do simply with the two
genders not knowing how to cope with the
changes in society. Men for example these
days in the West have great difficulty in
redefining what it means to be a man in the
light of the changes that are going on with
women, status, the economic situation and
so on. I think within each man and each
woman there is deep down, a tremendous
cry of wanting something good to go on
between them. If you look at the statistics
of divorce, which is one in two marriages, the how to
get to that something good going on between them, is an enormous
question. It is saying that if there is something real, something
good and something
regenerative that can happen between men
and women, what is it that we are not
doing right or what is it that we don't
understand, or that we need to understand,
to unlock that. It is like a huge potential,
which when it is touched is one of the
richest things in the world and yet it seems
to be so hard to get to, because there is so
much misunderstanding, and prejudice and
difficulty surrounding it. So, I know it has
been described as one of the greatest wars
on the planet, between the sexes, and I
think it is very true and it goes further than
humans, it is also to do with the whole
relationship with the planet, the whole of
the masculine and feminine way of things.
It is absolutely vital that the way the two
genders go on is allowed to be redefined
if our human species is to survive.
What would you say might be
important to research in the
coming years to get to a better
understanding, feeling and
response about the way the two
genders can work together?
The first thing
is that there needs to be an openness to each other, because I
meet an
awful lot of people, men and women, who
have given up trying to get to a better
understanding. I meet a lot of women who
say things like, "Men don't understand me
and that is the way it is, I have never found
any that could." There is the sense that it is
an impossible quest. Or I meet men who
say, "I can never work out what women
want, I always get it wrong," and I think
the first thing is to remain open to the
possibility that there is something new to
be discovered, which can lead to a better
understanding.
Then
we get into the whole territory of what Feminenza is about, which
is about
the different lives within each of the two
genders and recognizing that they are not
one thing. The needs of these various lives,
say the relationship between the male and
the female life, is going to have different
requirements to the man and the woman
life and that is going to have different issues
at play than the lady and gentleman life.
I think that it is in the unlocking and understanding
of these distinct levels in ourselves
that we can start to know how they relate
to those levels in the other gender. Through
this there is a tremendous amount of insight
and new possibility that can be opened up.
For example if you take the 'Male', the
'Male' is the most physical level, it is very
much a free radical, does not want to be tied down, needs its freedom
and is a bit of
an unexploded box of fireworks. Whereas
the 'Man' life is more ready to engage in
some kind of contractual relationship, say
with a woman, the building of a family and
so on. The higher part, if he develops that
part, which we call the 'Gentleman', seeks
something different yet again in the feminine
gender, which would be a mutual
respect and support to do with each other's
purpose. Depending on the degree of how
these different lives are active, they can
learn to dialogue with each other on different
levels and understand each other's
needs on different levels. Then you can get
a richness throughout. In these seminars I
have tried to open up what these inner lives
are and their different requirements, which
can save an awful lot of confusion. You can
ask why is it that a female at one minute
wants a hug and at another minute wants
to be left alone, needing her own space?
This is because there are these distinct lives
in her that have different needs, just as a
man does. We need to learn to understand
what these are so that we can respect them
and make room for them, rather than feeling
upset or dismissed or not knowing
which one you are dealing with.
Do you have imageries, ideas
and insights as to how the two
genders will function separately
and together in the future?
That's a difficult question, because we are
all so conditioned by the way things currently
are. But I do think it's very important to
constantly challenge that, and to never stop
working towards our own and each other's
liberation. I don't think we've even begun to
truly appreciate the greatness and power of
men and women, each in their unique way.
However, if I had one vision, it would be
that humanity had evolved to the point
where, throughout the whole world, the
birth of a baby girl on this planet was as
much a cause of joy, as the birth of a baby
boy. Just imagine!
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